now and then...

http://sheriffgregsolano.blogspot.com/2008/03/minds-interrupted-stories-of-lives.html
As I was searching for similar blogs to read about other people who have had mentally ill family members in there lives, I found one that was written by a sheriff from new mexico. He told the story of growing up and having his uncle in his life who suffered from post traumatic stress, after the war. There were a few things that caught my eye that I thought were interesting, “As I write this I struggled for a way to end this monologue and then I realized my family still struggles with my uncle’s illness and we pray for his safety while grasping for answers. There is yet no end to this story.”
This makes me think a little bit about the future. For one, what if I was writing this twenty years from now? Would my frustrations still be the same? Would I still have as much aggression towards this guy as I do right now? And the part about there never being any end to the story, whats my bipolar step brother going to be doing in twenty years? Will he be able to hold a job? Will he be able to support himself? I could go on and on with questions that pop into my head about the future for this guy. The fact that its so uncertain where he is going to end up, or how he will end up is pretty real. The thing that frustrates everyone that tries to help him is that he makes absolutely no effort to help himself, as if he likes being freakin’ crazy. I think that the context of reflection in which the blog that I read was written in is very different than mine. I wonder if in twenty years if I wrote this blog if mine would be the same…
I wonder if there will ever be an end to my brothers story, or if will just keep on going around and around in circles like its been doing the last few years. I can remember back when wee were in school, the guy had better grades than me. Now he probably couldn’t even pay attention enough to write down his homework. Another thing that the blog touched on was how he saw his uncle, a guy who had it all, go to having nothing, all because of mental illness. Its so sad how mental illness destroys so many lives and families.